Himmelblick 4.20.11
It’s been a while since I updated this blog, so I would like to let you all know what is happening with me. This Monday I started my sixth course of chemotherapy. It will end with a Monday, May 2nd treatment. Initially it was communicated to me that the trial was to be through six courses, which ends soon. But now they are talking about planning a seventh, and beyond that I don’t know. In any case I need to consider what comes after the trial. I don’t know if at some point the administrators will decide that my contribution to the trial protocol is complete, or if they would allow me to continue on indefinitely, at my will.
The effects of the treatments seem to be cumulative in that each course gets harder and harder to recover from. In fact, I never fully recovered between the fifth and this course. The fatigue never went away, nor did the fevers. No complaints from me though, I am just so happy to have this day, although I do, at times, get a little testy.
We are hoping to make a trip to Texas and Oklahoma after the boys are out of school for the summer. It will be great to see family and I desperately need a break from treatment to allow my body to recover.
I have been reading Psalm 18, and it speaks to me in my trust of God in this time of uncertainty. The first six verses go like this:
I love you, O LORD, my strength
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies.
The cords of death encompass me,
the torrents of destruction assailed me,
the cords of Sheol entangled me,
the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called upon the LORD,
to my God I cried for help
From his temple he heard my voice,
and my cry to him reached his ears.
I am indeed in a time of distress as the “cords of death” and the “torrents of destruction” of this disease do encompass me. But in this time of trouble and insecurity I call to him who hears and loves me. He is my deliverer, both temporal and eternal, and I can place the full weight of my trust in him. It is he who is worthy to be praised, especially in the midst of this troublesome season of life. He is the strength that allows me to continue on this path, even in joy. So I say, as does David in this Psalm, “I love you, O LORD, my strength”
Grace and Peace
EL
EL
Thank you for ministering to me today. What powerful words.
ReplyDeleteI had another sleepless night last night... and I'm always thankful when the Lord reminds me who needs prayers. You & Vanessa and your sons are in my thoughts and prayers. Praying your summer is filled with sweet memories visiting friends and family.
Thank you Linda for your comments and most especially your prayers. You have no idea what it means to us to have our precious Open Door family bring our needs before the throne of YHWH. He not only hears and answers those things that are at the forefront of out thoughts, but also those deep groans that come from the innermost places of our soul for which there are no words. Praise God for the Holy Spirit and his making these most wrenching pleadings known to the Father even as they are but thoughts in the center of our pain.
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